October 2026 Stony Brook CARE Newsletter

When children struggle with transitions, homework, bedtime, school attendance or managing big emotions, it can be difficult to know how to respond. Understanding what may be behind a child’s behavior can help parents reduce conflict, build connection and create a greater sense of safety and predictability at home.

Join Carolyn T. Ryan, MA, behavioral health specialist coordinator at Stony Brook University, for a practical discussion of trauma-informed approaches that can help you better understand your children’s needs and respond with compassion, structure and support.

🕡 6:15 pm

💻 Virtual (Microsoft Teams)

⏱ 45 minutes + Q&A

Carolyn Ryan has more than a decade of experience in crisis intervention and psychotherapy. She uses trauma-informed and creative approaches to help children, adolescents, adults and families build emotional awareness, resilience and healthy coping skills. Carolyn is especially passionate about early intervention and strengthening emotional health to help address concerns before they become more significant challenges.

Meeting ID: 211 143 910 920 62

Passcode: i9ns6fJ2

Need help? | System reference

+1 347-630-9468,,342639798# United States, New York City

Phone conference ID: 342 639 798#

Do weeknight struggles over bedtime, homework, transitions or curfew sometimes turn into power struggles? Before such stressful conflicts arise, you might give the trauma-informed approach a try.

Trauma informed approaches were developed in response to the high level of stress that impacted children and teen’s behavior, emotions and school performance since the pandemic. The approach can help parents look beyond challenging behavior and consider what may be driving it.

“Trauma is exposure to a stressor,” explains Carolyn T. Ryan, MA, behavioral health specialist coordinator at Stony Brook University. While trauma-informed approaches gained attention as children and teens experienced increased stress and anxiety related to  COVID, the principles can benefit any child who is struggling.

“Everybody’s trauma is different,” Ryan says. “A trauma-informed approach recognizes how any stressor can influence behavior, sleep patterns and relationships.”

Rather than focusing only on how to stop a behavior, parents can ask: What is my child experiencing, and how can I reduce the stressors and better connect with them? Predictability and choice can help. 

Establishing routines around transitions, homework and bedtime can help children feel more secure and reduce the energy they spend trying to figure out what happens next. When conflict arises, offering reasonable choices can also give children a sense of control.

For example, instead of insisting that a child brush their teeth immediately, a parent might calmly ask, “Would you rather brush at 7:15 or 7:30?” The child may still resist, but involving them in the solution can help ease the struggle and support emotional regulation.

Remember, "it's hard for young children to navigate and regulate their emotions," Ryans says. 

The same principles apply to teens, although the strategies may look different. When a teenager refuses to go to school, parents can work to understand what may be behind the behavior, emphasize positive aspects, and involve the teen in identifying possible solutions.

“Acting-out behavior is covering some level of need,” Ryan says. “It’s important to understand why the child is acting this way.”

A trauma-informed approach does not mean removing boundaries or avoiding accountability. Instead, it encourages parents to combine curiosity, compassion, clear expectations and structure.

You don’t have to navigate persistent conflict alone. If your family is stuck in a cycle of conflict despite trying new strategies, Ryan recommends reaching out for support rather than waiting for the situation to worsen. The CARE Initiative connects your family with compassionate, expert care and support when you need it. Speak to your school counselor or call the CARE line at (631) 638-1111.

You know the drill: School starts, the weather gets colder and suddenly the coughing begins.

Most parents also know that a cough can linger for weeks after a respiratory virus. But according to Catherine Kier, MD, division chief of pediatric pulmonology at Stony Brook Children’s Hospital, a lingering cough is worth paying attention to — particularly when it becomes a recurring pattern.

“Coughing is good because it’s the body’s mechanism for helping clear out the airway,” says Dr. Kier. “But there’s always a reason for coughing, and you need to find out why.”

One possible reason is asthma, a condition involving inflammation and variable narrowing of the airways that can cause coughing, wheezing, shortness of breath and chest tightness. Asthma can also increase mucus production and make the airways more sensitive or 'twitchy'. 

During winter months, allergens such as dust mites and mold — sometimes circulated by heating systems — can trigger symptoms in children with asthma. 

Because asthma symptoms can overlap with — and be mistaken for — other common respiratory illnesses or pneumonia, asthma sometimes goes undiagnosed. A recurrent cough can have many possible causes, so some children may have repeated visits for respiratory illnesses before the underlying cause, including asthma, is recognized. ”That matters because asthma requires a different treatment that may include inhaled medication to control symptoms and prevent flare-ups.

“It’s not uncommon for parents to be surprised by an asthma diagnosis because they'd assumed their child’s symptoms were 'just a cold'," Dr. Kier says.

Asthma doesn't always look the way you expect. "Parents often think that if the lungs sound clear, it's not asthma. But a child with asthma may have a normal lung examination between episodes. Asthma also does not always occur with exercise,” she says.

While wheezing and shortness of breath can occur, some children have cough-variant asthma, in which a persistent or recurring cough is the primary symptom.

A healthy child can have a cough that lingers for three or four weeks after a viral illness, Dr. Kier notes. What matters is the pattern. A cough that follows a cold and steadily improves is different from a cough that repeatedly returns, persists beyond four weeks, occurs when a child is otherwise well, or is associated with particular triggers.

“If your child’s cough has lasted more than a month, it’s time to be assessed,” she says.

When evaluating a child, Dr. Kier looks at the bigger picture, including whether symptoms are associated with allergies, seasonal changes or environmental triggers. Family history is also important because asthma has a genetic component.

Importantly, there is no single 'asthmatic cough'. It can be dry or wet, and the sound alone cannot determine whether asthma is the cause. "Just because a child is coughing, doesn't mean it's asthma," Dr. Kier says.

Parents and caregivers have an important perspective when it comes to understanding developmental differences and improving how children are screened and diagnosed.  

Stony Brook researchers are inviting families to participate in two research opportunities. 

Are you the parent or caregiver of a child with a developmental delay or autism? Researchers want to learn about your experiences to help improve the screening and diagnosis process.

Participation involves a secure phone or video interview with a member of the study team lasting 30 minutes to one hour. Families who participate will receive a $25 Target gift card.

📧 Interested? Contact  AutismscreeningEC@stonybrookmedicine.edu

Do you have a child between 3 and 5 years old? Researchers are studying how a fun, interactive, play-based developmental screener works in young children.

Participation takes approximately 30 minutes. Children who participate will receive a gift bag with age-appropriate toys. Parking vouchers are available if needed.

📧 Interested or have questions? Contact LILYA-T@stonybrookmedicine.edu

Principal Investigator: Roula Choueiri, MD

For 20 years, Spirit of Children has been making hospitals less scary for young patients by generously donating to children's hospitals across the country. 

Since 2019, Stony Brook Children's Hospital has received more than $350,000 for its Child Life Program.  Last year, you helped us raise $70,000 of that total. This year, we're aiming even higher: $100,000.

Visit SpiritHalloween.com for all your Halloween needs. Use promo code HOPE26 at checkout and receive 10% off your entire order.

Your Halloween shopping can make a difference for children in the hospital. Thank you and Happy Halloween!