In honor of National Children’s Mental Health Awareness Day, it’s worth remembering a simple truth: the foundation of mental health is the ability to understand and communicate emotions. If emotions weren't openly discussed when you were growing up, it might feel unnatural at first.

According to Anthony Anzalone, PsyD, Director of Child and Adolescent Behavioral Services at Stony Brook School of Medicine, children learn how to express feelings by watching the adults around them. The good news: a few small shifts can help build more open, meaningful conversations right away.

If “How was your day?” gets a one-word answer, Anzalone recommends the "Rose, Thorn and Bud" method:

Open-ended questions encourage deeper sharing because they can't be answered with a simple "yes" or "no".

Whether you're playing a game, building with blocks or talking about their favorite hobby, try following your child’s lead. Observe, comment, and join in — without correcting. This builds trust and connection over time.

Kids are more than their school day. Ask about their interests — sports, games, music or hobbies. When kids feel seen and heard in what their interests, they’re more likely to open up about their feelings, too.

When your child says they’re sad or anxious, resist the urge to solve their problem. What children usually need first is validation. Try reflecting what you hear:

Sometimes just feeling understood is enough. Problem-solving can come later — if your child is ready.

All feelings are okay. Let children know it’s okay to feel angry, sad, or worried — while guiding how to express those feelings appropriately. For example, it's okay to feel angry — but not to hurt someone or break something.

Words like “lazy” or “difficult” can shut down communication. Instead, get curious about what may be underneath it. What skills might your child be struggling with? What’s getting in the way? The shift from judgement to understanding opens the door to stronger connection. Focusing on "what" your child is doing rather than "why" does not help promote the skills we want our children to exhibit to make healthy choices.

Emotional communication strengthens with practice. Everyday conversations help children build resilience before challenges arise furthering their emotional vocabulary, awareness and expressiveness. think of it as prevention, not reaction.

When children feel safe expressing emotions, they’re better equipped to handle life’s ups and downs — building skills that support healthy relationships, problem-solving and lifelong well-being.